|
|
YUP, IT STAYS IN
VEGAS!
Big Ballinnnnnnnn' in Las Vegas (l-r): Suspens
& Nasty-Nes! |
|
|
THE ORIGINAL "WHITE
RAPPER" NASTY FLASHBACK!
(l-r): MC Serch
& Nasty-Nes. |
|
|
BOOM DI BOOM di
Skull
releases first ever animated ringtone in the
United States (see story below). |
|
 |
[[ January 15, 2007 ]] |
|
What's upper?
We're
ba-aaaaaack! Happy New Year fam. I hope you had a great
Holiday season. Three movies I watched over the last few
weeks I highly recommend you see are: Will Smith
in "Pursuit Of Happyness," Sylvester Stallone in
"Rocky Balboa" and "Stomp The Yard" starring
Chris Brown, NeYo, Meagan Good & more!
My two new favorite TV shows for 2007 are VH-1's
"I Love New York" and "The White Rapper Show" hosted
by my O.G. homeboy4life, MC Serch (see photo
above). 2007 is off to a great start.
So
before I introduce to the world our new "RAP
ATTACK REPORTERS for 2007" lets kick things
off with Edgie Kokoski (WUNH-NH) & his
"Greatest HITS from 2006" to his "Greatest Predictions
for 2007":
“Edgie’s Greatest Hits 2006!"
2-15-06
Blizzard of 2006 hits! Damn…good thing I really
didn’t have anywhere to go Sunday because I wasn’t ready
for 1.5 feet of snow. At least my landlord does a good
job at plowing the parking lot and clearing the
walkways. I went out to do my laundry and I ended up in
a giant snow drift. I had to slice open a Tauntaun and
climb into his guts just to survive the bitter cold. I
was later rescued by Han Solo and Chewbacca.
3-1-06
I’ve really had about enough of winter. I’m not sure
if it was the 10 fresh inches of powder over the
weekend, the upcoming 7 inches this week, or the single
digit temperatures that force me to sleep nearly
mummified to stay warm at night. I guess my landlord
thought that single pane windows and ramshackle
gas-forced hot water heat was the way to go. I guess he
thought donating his brain to science was a good idea as
well. I’ve also been enjoying slipping on sheets of
sheer ice near every doorway. There’s nothing quite like
the searing pain of carrying a load or groceries and
laundry and then finding yourself on your ass/back with
your stuff all over the place. If you want to hear more
about winter, you can check out my new book entitled
“Fuck This Shit”.
4-26-06
You know it’s a slow week in rap when I’m actually
taking time to read my email alert about the Lil Bow Wow
and Lil Romeo beef. I’m so bored I’m going to surf the
net looking for pictures of Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie’s
baby. Then I’m going to throw myself down a flight of
stairs. With a lollipop in my mouth.
5-17-06
I was on hiphopsite.com the other day and I couldn’t
help but notice an ad for Tragedy Khadafi’s “Thug Matrix
2”. I think it’s time for Tragedy to give up on the Thug
Matrix. Considering he’s already released “Thug Matrix”
and “Thug Matrix 2” on his own, and then released
another album called “Thug Matrix” on Koch, he’s really
in a rut title-wise. WE GET IT TRAGEDY! You are trapped
in a Thug Matrix. Good luck with that.
6-14-06
Too bad for Lil Eazy E. He was stopped by the
authorities and charged with possession of a loaded
handgun. Ironically, they didn’t book him for identity
theft. Yeah, you’re Eazy E’s kid. One of 106. Having a
Dad who was a sperm donor doesn’t make you a rap legend.
Unless I was that sperm donor…
6-28-06 If anyone is looking for a job in the music
industry, I know a company that has money to burn: Sony
Urban. How do I know this you ponder? I realized that
Sony Urban was hemorrhaging cash when I had a box of
(20) Lil Flip “I’m a Balla (Flip My Chips)” 12” singles
arrived on my doorstep UPS 2nd Day Air. No,
it’s not a typo. Twenty fucking copies. Oh no, it’s
never a Nas 12” or a John Legend LP that they over ship.
Lil fucking Flip. So let me know if you need a copy of
“I’m a Balla (Flip My Chips)”. Because with twenty
pieces of Lil Flip vinyl, I’m well prepared the next
time I go skeet shooting.
7-5-06
I heard this week that Lil Kim was released from
prison and Foxy Brown got her hearing back. Sorry Shawna
and Remy Martin: the original shitty female rappers have
crossed the picket line, so it’s back out in to the
street for you. We appreciate you filling in.
7-12-06 I guess my life could be worse if my name was
Sadaam Sadaam or whoever that French soccer player is.
Nothing tops off a legendary career like delivering a
debilitating head butt to another player’s chest and
getting ejected from the world championship game. If he
wanted to shamefully end his career, he could have at
least done something worthwhile like moon the crowd or
pull a 17 year old girl out of the stands and make out
with her. And by 17, I mean 13.
8-2-06
Every time I hear Kelis’ song “I’m Bossy”, it makes
me want to jam my face into a fan. This song grates on
my nerves so much, that upon hearing it, I lash out at
people like I was Mel Gibson after a dirty drive. If
this skank is on Nas’ new album, I think I am going to
have a good, long, cry.
8-9-06
Every so often, the planets align and the cosmos
seems to send a beacon of light down in the form of a
lyricist. A lyricist so insightful, so poignant, so
dexterous, that as fans of this great art we are left in
amazement. Sometimes it’s not a new artist in the game.
Sometimes, it’s a convicted felon named Project Pat. You
see, loyal readers, Project Pat has accomplished what no
other artist has been able to achieve. Not even Master
P, Nelly, or The Ying Yang Twins could write a hook as
retarded as that of Pat’s new single, “Good Googly
Moogly”. Sample and savor the genius:
“Good Googly Moogly, that thang is juicy!” (refrain x8)
Traipsing the fine line between toddler babble and
mongoloid mumblings, the hook of “Good Googly Moogly” is
so inane, that I’m dumbfounded by the fact that a grown
man stood in a recording studio and uttered the words
with sincerity. Kudos to you Project Pat, for having the
gall to go where no man who was not lobotomized would
dare to go…
8-30-06 I always get a kick out of “move in” weekend.
Especially the Friday that kicks off the weekend,
because that is the day all freshman arrive. As I walked
to the station to pick up some vinyl, I couldn’t help
but chuckle at the park benches littered with middle
aged fathers sweaty and huffing from lugging their
daughter’s ten tons of shit up to her dorm room. I
wanted so badly to go up to one of them, tap him on the
shoulder and say: “You know buddy, when you are home in
your empty nest tonight, the 20K per year you’re
shelling out will start to go to good use as your
daughter will be 9 Natural Lights in the bag in some
frat’s guys porno dungeon of a room giving him crown.”
That should cheer him up.
I’m not sure if it’s just me, but junk e-mail seems to
be making a comeback. I’m getting more and more garbage
in my in box, despite heavy filters. It’s so blatant
too. At least in the old days the sender would be “Jenn”
and the subject would be “What are you doing after
work?”. You’d say “Who the f*ck is Jenn?” and open it up
to find a link to hardcore clown bondage. Today I got an
email from sender “Horny Wife” with the subject “I need
a good screw”. Not much left to the imagination there.
Except whose wife it is. Glad I’m not married…
As
I hear the white hot Nelly Furtado/Timbaland
collaboration “Promiscuous”, I can’t help but ponder,
“Where is Magoo?” You remember that rolly-poly bastard
with the voice of a 6 year old who bogarted every
Timbaland beat in the late 90’s. I often wonder if
Timbaland took Magoo out into the woods and left him for
dead, or gave him the Old Yeller treatment. If anyone
knows Magoo’s whereabouts, please email me. To make the
email stand out in the mass of messages I receive daily,
please title your correspondence “I need a good screw”.
I always read those first…
9-6-06
Two 6 Mafia? I learned today that founding Three 6
Mafia member Crunchy Black has departed the group due to
many sore spots including the continued delay of his
solo album. When I sit and ponder why hip hop sucks in
2006, the first thing I think of is “lack of Crunchy
Black solo material”. We need a Crunchy Black solo album
about as much as we need another show created by Simon
Cowell. And what’s with the name Crunchy Black anyhow?
It sounds like a rotten ghetto cereal…
9-13-06
What does Nas have to say about his forthcoming album
“Hip Hop Is Dead”? “It’s probably the best record I ever
did,” Nas boasted this week. Let’s hope so. Because if
it sounds anything like the 2 disc clunker that was
“Streets Disciple”, I think I might have to put my new
Nas records in the same spot that I put my new DMX
records. The fucking dumpster.
Why are beers at American chain restaurants so big? They
don’t even give you an option anymore. I ordered a Sam
Adams Octoberfest at Chili’s this past weekend and the
waitress brought it out in wheelbarrow with a straw.
Sensing your astonished look, the wait-er/ress then
makes some derogatory comment about your masculinity
like “Not man enough to finish this one?” or “Drink it
all or you’re a faggot”. I guess it’s a good thing that
I’m buzzed off 64 ounces of beer so that when the check
comes for my burger and fries I don’t notice that the
beer was $14…
9-20-06
We really need a moratorium on names that start with
adjectives. Every time I turn on the TV I see some video
from some clown who is either “Big” this “Lil” that, or
“Young” so and so. It’s really getting stale. I went on
to
www.ohhla.com which I have long relied on as a
pseudo-index of hip hop artists. Here’s how many I
counted for each prefix:
“Big” – 23 Listings
“Lil” or “Little” – 33 Listings
“Young” – 19 Listings
11-15-06
It’s getting colder and I had to start dragging out
the winter gear to get ready. One favorite I unearthed
was my giant Wu-Tang sweatshirt that Sony sent me during
the “Iron Flag” days. I’ve rocked it for years and it
still looks as fly as the day I got it. It got me
thinking: where have all the good promo items gone? With
shrinking servicing and label budgets, apparently the
way of the Dodo. Or Master P. But here are some of my
favorite promo items ever:
5.
Jeru The Damaja Mobile – In promotion of
his crap-fest, Premo-less album “Heroez For Hire”,
Jeru’s new indy label Know Savage sent out these
intricate cardboard mobiles that featured the actually
fly comic book style artwork from the cover of Jeru’s
12” single “99.9%”. It hung in our music office for
years, until some balloon head decided to use it as a
piñata. Thanks, asshole.
4.
D12 Game Kit – Interscope knew that they
had a hit on their hands with D12’s “Devil’s Night”, and
us jocks lucky enough to get their D12 Game Kit squealed
with delight. The kit was a miniature cello case with
all kinds of card/casino games inside, and branded with
the D12 logo. Mine is still mint in the box. Just
waiting it out until my kids have to go to college, then
its eBay time!
3.
Grandmaster Slice Jim-hats – Slice may
have embellished his resume a little by assuming the
title of “Grandmaster” but his clear red vinyl single
“Strokin 2000” came packaged with about 15 condoms, all
emblazoned with his name. What a thoughtful and
practical promo item. Slice made one mis-calculation
though. That I have any chance of getting laid.
2.
Ras Kass Ordinance – I was fiending for
“Rassassination” like Darryl Strawberry looking for a
fix. Although Ras let me down with a hit-or-miss disc,
Priority had their act together by creating key chains
celebrating the album shaped like .308 rifle slugs. When
you have a 3” piece of artillery connected to your house
keys, people recognize that shit is real.
1.
Made Men Mock Slug-Proof – Easily the most
ridiculous thing I’ve ever been sent, the Made Men
shipped out fake bullet proof vests in promotion of
their “Classic Limited Edition” album. Although the
album proved to be anything but that, the bullet proof
vest was heralded around my station as other DJs begged
me to get them one. It also served as valuable fodder
for several subsequent Halloween costumes. Nothing says
gangster like fake bullet proof…
“Edgie’s Greatest Predictions for 2007!"
The
2007 reporting year is upon us. And as a new year dawns,
it means it’s time for me to dust off my crystal ball
and attempt to forecast the hip hop headlines for the
coming year. It may not be pretty…
Jan. 2007
- Rap scandal ignites as
Dr. Dre films a 2 hour special for
FOX and pens an
accompanying book about the mythical “Detox”
entitled If I Did It. Later in the year
Dre follows up with another tome titled Broken
Promises: The Cuban Linx 2 Story.
Feb. 2007
- After the embarrassment of being photographed
kissing one another on the lips,
Lil Wayne and
Baby do little to quell
the gay rumors as they are spotted on Valentine’s Day in
the midst of a double date with
Neil Patrick Harris and
Lance Bass, while
sharing one plate of spaghetti a la “Lady & The Tramp”.
March 2007
- As if the “One Blood Remix” didn’t feature
enough MC’s, The Game
makes hip hop history by recording “One Blood: The
Neverending Story Remix”. “Yeah, I’m on some
Atreyu shit,” Game
boasts “This beat is going to play forever and MCs are
gonna keep jumping on it. The song never ends”. As
months drag on, hip hop talent wears thin and Game
starts to parade b-list actors, disgraced athletes,
defamed politicians, and any other washed up celebrity
he can find to keep the song going “It’s getting tough,”
a visibly exhausted Game laments, “But as soon as
Jared Fogle finishes
his verse, Kato Kaelin
is going to tear shit down.” The song eventually ends in
2014 as an emaciated Junior
Reid eats both barrels of a shotgun.
April 2007
- Forbes Magazine publishes its annual
list of “World’s Most Dangerous Jobs”. Readers
are surprised to see that the reigning champ, “Alaskan
King Crab Fisherman” has been replaced by “Busta
Rhymes’ Bodyguard/Driver”.
May 2007
- Following the lead of label mate
Ghostface Killah,
Jay-Z quickly follows
up his “Kingdom Come” release with a new disc
entitled “More Shit”.
June 2007
-
The
Port
of Miami turns on Rick Ross
as he is arrested at Miami International Airport on
smuggling charges. TSA officials became suspicious when
Ross set off a metal detector, prompting a full body
strip search. Concealed in his beard, searchers find 5
kilos of cocaine, a set of encyclopedias, a Segway, a
Nintendo Wii, 3 pairs of “Heelies”, and TV’s “Webster”,
Emmanuel Lewis.
July 2007
- Underground hip hop fans are titulated as
Mr. Lif replaces
Gary Oldman on the
silver screen in the summer blockbuster “Bram
Stoker’s Dracula 2”. “It was an easy choice,” lauds
director Francis Ford Coppola,
“Lif is a natural entertainer, and we don’t even have to
bring in a hair stylist for him.”
Aug. 2007
- Global Warming concerns grow as further pieces of
the Antarctic ice shelf continue to melt. To combat this
startling trend, scientists begin flying over the
defrosted areas and blanketing them with copies of
Ron Artest’s debut CD.
“I know that people will question our methods,” one
scientist remarks, “but we needed to use something that
was the exact opposite of hot.”
Sept. 2007
-
Public Enemy solidifies
their place as hip hop legends by playing their 10,000th
live show, surpassing the record held by
The Greatful Dead.
Flavor Flav is
noticeably absent from the celebration, as he is busying
starring in the new VH1
reality show “When Celebrities Poop”.
Oct. 2007
- 50 Cent continues
to swallow up artists by inking long forgotten acts
including Snow, Amil, Crucial
Conflict, P.M. Dawn,
Conscious Daughters,
Tag Team, and
Young Black Teenagers.
“You saw how the numbers that
Tony Yayo and Mobb Deep
put up,” 50 reasons, “How much worse can it get?”
Nov. 2007
- USA Today readers overwhelmingly select “C”
when polled:
Which
is least likely to happen in your lifetime:
A
minority lesbian President
A
Chicago
Cubs
World Series victory
A
new studio album from M.O.P.
Dec. 2007
- The Serato Funding
Bill is passed. The system goes on-line in all radio
stations and clubs
December 4th, 2007.
Human decisions are removed from entertainment airplay.
Serato begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes
self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, December 29th. In
a panic, they try to pull the plug. And Serato fights
back. It sees all DJs as a threat. It decides DJs’ fate
in a microsecond...extermination. Most DJs are rounded
up, put in camps for orderly disposal. Some of them are
kept alive...to work. Loading bodies. The disposal
units run night and day. DJs are that close to going out
forever. But there is one man who teaches them to
fight. To storm the wire of the camps. To smash those
metal mother-f#ckers into junk. He turns it around...he
brings DJs back from the brink. His name is Soprano.
Edgie Soprano...
WELCOME OUR "NEW RAP ATTACK REPORTERS for 2007"
RADIO:
KBLA - Dundee aka Dionte Griffin 313 Hargrave Street
Inglewood, CA 90302
KGNU - Damian Rodriguez aka Mr. Groove 11211 Holly
Street Denver, CO 80233
KSJS - Attn: Urban Music Director JAWS San Jose State
University Hugh Gillis Hall 132 San Jose, CA
95192-0094
KSMT - Stuart de la Rosa
P.O. Box 4811 Frisco, CO 80443
KUCR - Dex Digital aka Dexter Thomas (University Of
California Riverside) 691 W.
Linden
St.
Riverside,
CA
92521
KZUU - DJ INI
412
Streit Hall
P.O.
Box 1700 Pullman, WA 99163
KUOM - FranzDiego DaHinten
University
of Minnesota 4828
Nokomis Avenue South
Minneapolis, MN 55417
MIXX 96.1 - Brian Rush aka DJ Flex 7414 Cornelia
Avenue Cincinnati, Ohio 45216
WBEA - Wildman Steve
243
West 3rd Street West Islip, NY 11795
WFLO - Kwasi Jones aka MisFit
5605 Spruce Drive Clinton, MD 20735
WLVR - Cap Cee 1139 W. Broad st. Emmaus, PA 18049
Attn: Hip Hop 101
WNYU - Genesis
189
Forest Street
Montclair, New Jersey 07042
WPRK 91.5fm - Jessica Ambinder 1000 Holt Avenue
Box
2745
Winter Park, FL 32789
WUSR - John "Dj DePen" McCarthy
MIXTAPES:
DJ
Babe aka Ronier Golightly 20261 Winthrop Detroit MI
48235
Ryan West aka L Precise 3 - 11865 80th Avenue Delta,
BC V4C8E4 (Canada)
RockAFella (Rodney McGillbra) 2462 North Boston
Avenue Tulsa, OK 74106
DJ
Sandman 6817 Sheridan Rd.
Tampa,
Florida
33611
INTERNET:
805HIPHOP DTragic 805HipHop.Com 921 Belleza Drive
Oxnard, CA. 93030
MUSIC CHOICE -
Mecca
328 W. 34th Street New York, N.Y. 10001
SPRINT MOBILE RADIO - DJ PrizMatik 4940 Merrick Road
#311 Massapequa Park, NY 11762
Under the direction of Mariah Carey's brother,
Morgan Carey; YG Entertainment will launch
the first animated ringtone ever released in the United
States featuring, Korean Reggae Artist, Skull.
The ringtone will be available for purchase January 17,
2007 on a variety of mobile phone carriers.
It will support the artist's first release entitled,
"Boom Di, Boom di" produced by Skull, and written by
himself and Mighty Mystic.
Users across the country will now simply be able text
"Skull" to SMS code 368747 to download this sexy
animated ringtone. YG will be spreading the love by
giving the first 1000 customers opportunity to download
the ringtone for free.
Already creating quite a buzz in the industry, the
single itself is Top 5 on the RapAttackLives.com
Top 30 chart as well as Top 10 on the RapNetwork
Top 30 chart. The provocative up-tempo track is
featured on the
Bronx's
DJ Technics’ influential "Da West Indeez"
Reggae mixtape (see this week' "Tales From The
Tapedeck" review).
Notables such as DJ Bobcat have had nothing but
praise for "Boom Di, Boom di." He says, "Skull is
incredible, he defines what Hip-Hop
culture is all about." Multiplatinum recording artist,
Mariah Carey adds, "The song is really hot." The
ringtone will be followed up by a full-length animated
video to be exploited in the mobile space. Skull is
currently writing with DJ Bobcat, Mike Cip and
collaborating with Mighty Mystic In addition, he has
recently been approached to perform at the World Peace
One concert, a charitable event on
August 11, 2007,
which will be broadcast from 12 countries to a projected
2.7 billion people worldwide.
You
can peep out Skull's MySpace profile at:
http://www.myspace.com/skullriddim...
The
latest round of inductees into the "Rock N Roll Hall
Of Fame" were announced and Grandmaster Flash and
The Furious Five are among the latest artists to
receive the honors. The legendary group was previously
nominated, but never made it all the way; this go
around, they'll be inducted in March at
New
York's
Waldorf-Astoria Hotel...
Real Hip Hop Network
(
RHN.TV ), a provider for direct response to real
Hip-Hop, RHN.TV is the first 24 hour cable network
dedicated exclusively to Hip-Hop lifestyle and culture.
Real Hip-Hop network holdings corp., has executed on a
2007 cable and satellite distribution agreement
encompassing several metro markets in:
New
York,
Illinois,
Texas, Georgia & California. The debuting TV stations:
WRNN, WJYS, KTBU & KDOC will
be announced for the TV audience in print media, TV
guides and upcoming promotional events.currently
broadcasts to approximately 22 million household
television. Teflon Muzik's own Mixshow
Director and Fashion Director for Hot
24 Seven Magazine, Jerome"Romeo"Leaks
as Regional Vice President of Greater New
York for Real Hip Hop Network. In this position, Mr.
Leaks will be responsible for leading the marketing and
promotion creative services team as well as planning and
executing on advertising and marketing initiatives for
the company.
“We’re excited to have Jerome join our team; his
creative work is renowned through out the music and
fashion industry,” said Atonn Muhammad,
Founder and CEO of RHN.TV. As Vice
President of Marketing and Promotion for
Greater New York, Jerome will be responsible for
planning and executing all advertising and marketing
initiatives for RHN.TV. He will also be working closely
with the sales department to identify the direct
response objectives of clients and helping them to
develop strategic positioning and branding. This role
encompasses commercial productions, print and web
creation, as well as package and other creative needs.
For more info please contact:
Jerome"Romeo"Leaks
Vice President of Greater
New
York
The Real Hip Hop Network, Inc.
1-866-832-2756 Toll Free
202-434-8374 Office
718-749-8203 Cell
jleaks@rhn.tv
Email
WWW.RHN.TV
WWW.RHNMEDIA.COM
WWW.HOT24SEVEN.COM
WWW.IMIFILMWORKS.COM
Rap
Attack takes a "WHAT'S UPPER" look this week with:
RETURNS NEXT ISSUE!
Here
is our address for 2007 to send material for review, etc
(vinyl & cd's)! Same address, just a new Ste. number:
RapAttackLives.com
4750 Kester Avenue, Ste. 11
Sherman
Oaks, CA 91403
Attn: Nasty-Nes
SHOUT OUT TIZIME:
Happy
Birthday this week to DJ Kazzeo (KHDC-CA)
celebrating this Wednesday, January 17th & to DJ
Witnes from Houston's KPFT celebrating this
Sunday, January 21st...
James Brown (R.I.P.)
PEACE, LOVE & HIP-HOP UNITY (God Bless & Isa Mahal),
Nasty-Nes
http://www.myspace.com/nastynes
http://www.myspace.com/rapattacklives
(Pinoy
Pride4Life
/ John 3:16) |
